The Power of Guilt

"Once you Understand What Guilt is, it Becomes your Friend Instead of Your Enemy"

What is guilt?  A simple definition is "the feeling of having done something wrong".

You are the always the one feeling the guilt, but who did something wrong and to whom?

Did you do something wrong that you feel guilty about?  Or did someone else make you feel guilty about something you did that affected them?

There are two types of guilt and you experience both of them almost every day of your life. 

One comes from within you and the other is supplied by someone else.  The end result is the same and you feel bad about having done something you perhaps should not have done.

Natural Guilt

Natural guilt comes from within you and is there to help you choose a better path.  You have these feelings of natural guilt often but may not always listen to them.

Almost everyone has had the experience that they had to do this instead of that.  It can be said in many ways and here are a few:

• "My conscience told me to follow this path"

• "I had a gut level instinct"

• "I just felt that it was the right thing to do"

• "There was simply no other way"

• "I would have felt terrible doing otherwise"

If you ignore that instinct you are feeling natural guilt.  There are no outside influences and no one else involved, just you.

You can almost eliminate natural guilt by simply listening to your hunches, intuition or whatever you prefer to call it.

But a much more dangerous type of guilt is anything but natural.  It is artificial.

Artificial Guilt

Artificial guilt is an extremely powerful tool that is used by many people in different ways to get what they want by manipulating the emotions of those around them.

People that use artificial guilt are attempting to get you to do something you may not want to do. There are many examples of this and some are provided below:

• "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and if you don't act on it now it will be too late."

• "I have only one item left and I'm afraid it will be gone quickly unless you purchase it now."

• "If you don't do this for me then I will know that you don't really care about me."

• "This business will make you rich, but of course you know that you must buy this startup kit for a thousand dollars in order to make it happen."

In each of these examples, the person making the statement is trying to make you do something that is more important to them than it is to you.

Those closest to us use artificial guilt because they may be interested in achieving their own goals rather than helping you in reaching yours.

They may sincerely believe that they have your best interests at stake but it may actually be the case that they simply do not want you to change.

How to Reverse Guilt

You must first recognize the difference between your own natural guilt and artificial guilt that others may be making you feel.

You don't have to follow the path suggested by others influencing you.  Here are guilt-free responses to the statements listed above.

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and if you don't act on it now it will be too late."

Your reply:  "Really. Then perhaps I will wait until my next lifetime to act on it."

"I have only one item left and I'm afraid it will be gone quickly unless you purchase it now."

Your reply:  "If it is that good a product and sells that well then we both know more will made available. I am in no rush."

"If you don't do this for me then I will know that you don't really care about me."

Your reply: "Are you saying that you only care about me because of what I can do for you?"

"This business will make you rich, but of course you know that you must buy this startup kit for a thousand dollars and sell the products it contains in order to make it happen."

Your reply: "If I buy the kit, then I must sell them before I make any money.  It seems to me that you are making the money and that if I don't sell all the products I am stuck with them.  Why don't you provide the kit to me now and I will pay for it after I sell the products?"

Understanding guilt can make you guilt-free if you choose.  Natural guilt can help guide you to make better choices in your life.  Artificial guilt can be ignored or reversed.  It all comes down to what you prefer but in the end ...

it's always your choice.

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About the Author

James Kudlak is an Internet consultant, systems programmer, writer and contributor of articles to this website.

You may distribute this article freely as long as you keep the content unchanged and include this byline.  For further information you may contact him by clicking here.