Should You Share Your Goals?

"A Secret Once Revealed Can Never be Secret Again"

Once you have made a conscious choice to succeed in any area of your life you are taking an incredibly important first step.

Not only will you have to decide what you want but also whether to tell anyone else about your decision.

Is this a good idea or not and why or why not?

Is it Wise to Tell Others about Your Goals?

The answer really depends on two types of trust that you show everyday to the people around you.  The first is having trust in the people that you would tell your goals to and the second, the trust that you have in yourself.

Starting out on a personal mission to achieve a goal is like planting a seed that you want to grow and develop so that it bears fruit.  It needs frequent attention, nurturing and protection from anything that could stop or slow down its growth.

Unless protected somehow, an acorn will not become a massive oak tree and it would be foolish to plant one on a path well-traveled.

It would likely not survive very long and would likely be squashed by someone walking over it just as it began to sprout.

But in the forest where there are few visitors and the conditions are more suitable, that same acorn has a much better chance of becoming an oak tree.

Your goals need protection, at least until it becomes clear that you are on your way to achieving them.  A small oak tree, newly sprouted is much easier to tear out than one that has been growing for weeks or months.

Trust in Others

In an ideal world everyone would support whatever positive choices you made.  No criticism, no insults, no name-calling, no derogatory remarks, ever.

Of course you probably have no intention of telling the entire world what you want, do you?  It is more likely that you would consider telling your significant other, your best friends or family.

Assume that you do trust whoever you have chosen to confide in.  The trust that you have for them is absolutely one hundred percent and they have never let you down in any way.

Are you still sure that they won't laugh or criticize you in any way once you tell them what you really want and that you have set on a path to get it?

If you have even the slightest doubt then perhaps you should wait until later. Whether are certain about them or not, there are two things you can do to help you decide.

First, put yourself in their shoes and reverse the roles.  Imagine that you are them and they are you.  What would you say to them if they told you that they were going to do what you have chosen to do?

Would you support their ideas without question?  How much others will believe in you is sometimes mirrored by how much you believe in them.

The second way is to think of a goal that you really don't want but is equally impressive.  Choose someone and tell them about your phony goal and watch their reaction.

If it isn't what you expected then you may want to reconsider telling them about your real goals.  Try this on different people in different ways.  But don't attempt to overdo it because they may not take you seriously in the future.

Trust in Yourself

You also need enough trust in yourself to follow through with your goals no matter what others say to you.  If you don't tell anyone what your goals are there is only source of criticism left and that's from you.  You can sabotage your goals much more easily than others can.

Judging yourself too harshly is more likely to happen earlier on as you begin to pursue your goals.  It can also happen after you experience a setback or other troubles in your life.

You must try to keep your momentum and nurture that seed which represents your goal.  Help is available and there are many tools and techniques you can use to become or stay motivated.

You can build trust in yourself with subliminal or supraliminal recordings, autosuggestion techniques, meditation or reading inspirational books just to name a few.

Which Way to Go?

An advantage to telling someone about your goals is that they may be completely supportive and help motivate you when you feel negative.  They can be there with you to help you get through the rough waters.  This could be someone you know closely or perhaps someone you have never met before.

Special interest, support groups and success coaches specialize in doing just that.  They are not interested in watching you fail or providing negative criticism.  They only want to help because they have been or are in your situation.

If you wait for a while before telling anyone about your goals they may begin to see changes in you.  They may comment on the differences they see in you and figure out what your goal is even before you tell them.

The closer you become to realizing your goal the more obvious it becomes to others that you had that goal.  At some point you may be unable to deny it any longer.

You can either explain it to them or just smile and walk away, whichever is more satisfying to you.

If You Spring a Leak

If someone finds out about your goals that you prefer didn't know, your best option is to deny it or just say nothing about it again.  If you react with strong emotions they will know that they hit your sensitive spot.

If you are calm and appear relaxed they will soon forget about it but you shouldn't.  Let them find out later by seeing your results if you choose to show them.

If you write down your goals on paper then make sure that you store them in a private area away from the eyes of others.  It is more difficult to deny that you have certain goals if others can read them.

This is even more important when you store your goals electronically on a computer.  Place them or name them so that only you can find them.

Better still, store them on a portable media and password protect it.  Using a school or company computer network to store your files can be hazardous to your success.  It may not be worth the risk of being discovered.

If someone does read your goals, you can show your resentment at having your privacy invaded.  This doesn't mean you have to become angry or be aggressive.

Simply being assertive and stating your disappointment or disgust is usually enough.  Try and retrieve the files or papers containing your goals or stop its circulation.

If you goals are really important to you then you should be able memorize them so that you can remind yourself of them.  It doesn't have to be all of your goals, perhaps only the top few extremely important to you.

If you want to make it even easier to set goals then look at Success Studios' GoalPro, a goal-setting computer program designed to guide you through all the steps required to define, maintain, track, and achieve your goals.

Your goals will change as you travel on your journey to success.  Should you tell others or keep it a secret?  There is only one person you should ask...

Ask an expert, ask yourself.

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About the Author

James Kudlak is an Internet consultant, systems programmer, writer and contributor of articles to this website.

You may distribute this article freely as long as you keep the content unchanged and include this byline.  For further information you may contact him by clicking here.